Interstitial: HOW TO THREESOME

Last night I had a great convo with my beautiful new friend from the previous post, talking about what I’ve learned on my sex journey and how to have a successful threesome. Now that I’ve had a few and talked with my friends on the couple end of things, I have come to bless you all with my wisdom.

I guess I should frame this more for couples inviting individuals – giving my perspective as the individual and what I think couples can do to have the best time evaaa

  1. Have a couple date! Just like regular dating, it’s good to get to know people before you fuck them! All 3 parties need to want to fuck everyone. I’ve found it’s really key for the women to connect. As someone who considers myself “heteroflexible”, I think women are really dope and cool and beautiful but on the average, I go for dudes. Having a date also gives you a chance to feel out each others personalities, even if you don’t directly talk sex stuff. But you should absolutely talk sex stuff.
  2. Talk about what everyone is into! As a really open person I’m down for a lot of things, but it’s fun when people’s interests magically align. Couples should not just discuss their boundaries with only each other, the third party needs to be considered in this as well. Third parties really look to the couple to set the tone and take the lead in the evening, but it can’t be couple teaming up with the third person just hanging out with no idea what the plan is. My favorite threesomes so far have been where I’ve “teamed up” with each member of the couple. Sometimes it’s him and I on her, or she and I on him, or vice versa. Basically, any combo you can think of should be gold. It acts as an individual bond between two people in the context of a larger bonding activity. Forming an individual relationship between each member of the threesome allows for a more relaxed and comfortable fun time!
  3. Plan in advance – having a date to look forward to builds anticipation for the fun, and gives everyone a chance to prepare what they want to go down. The wishlist thing from Part 5 was a ton of fun because I got myself really hyped up with anticipation.
  4. Don’t just fuck all night! Stop and talk! I’m a huge talker, so I enjoy taking breaks to chat and hang and joke. The fucking should be an extension of your mutual friendship, just like a regular relationship.
  5. For an FFM, let the woman in the couple take the lead. When I’ve bonded more with the women than the men in the threesome, I’ve had way more fun. I think because I’m more naturally inclined to go for men, having a super strong female bond kind of puts everyone on the same playing field, interest wise. Prior to two weeks ago, I had never gone down on a woman or even touched another vagina, but in both my past two threesomes I had a really strong connection with the women in the couple and it seemed like a natural idea. In my first successful couple threesome, the woman and I didn’t bond as much and I noticed retroactively that we didn’t really interact.
  6.  Tips and Tricks! I feel super open with talking about what I want or correcting what someone else is doing to me in these situations because I don’t have an emotional attachment to the sex, these are not people I’m dating and trying to be in a longer relationship with. Communication is SO important in any relationship, but the pressure of one on one dating can make it difficult to open up to all sexual proclivities on the first date. With these pre-arranged sex dates, everyone knows what they’re in for and there appear to be less social mores associated with being open about sexual desires.
    1. For example, when I was with the couple from Part 6, I was super open about the way I thought he should go down on me and things I had liked in the past. I gave direct instructions and even demonstrated for him on his gf (she…did not mind lol). She told me last night that he had been using things I taught him!!! So exciting.
  7. LISTEN. LISTEN. LISTEN. When you’re inviting a third person into your bedroom for the first time, you only can go on what they tell you they like. But, if that person tells you “hey I like rough sex” and then you say “well most girls say they like it but then it’s too rough” – that is not listening. (is that mansplaining??). Don’t only listen for negatives though! Listen for positives! Nothing is more fun than going to town on someone and having them make a noise that you’ve never heard from a human before. But as someone who is really getting to know their own body and their own likes and dislikes, it is super important to me that, if I’m communicating what I want, that you listen and follow along, because it shows that you care about my satisfaction.
  8. To me, threesomes are for everyone to have a fun time. The most important thing that people should glean from this is: it’s not about the couple + a third, it’s about three individuals coming together.

So, I was fortunate in my most recent spur of the moment threesome that I pretty much became instant friends with the girl. Over the course of the night I got to know her boyfriend better and he was a cool dude, but I don’t think it would have gone as well if she and I hadn’t connected so strongly and so quickly. I think it’s even evident in my blog entry, I focus much more on her than him because she was the person I really connected with. Compare that to the couple before, where I felt connected to both people – they both feature a lot more in the story.

Last night, my friend and I went to a sex shop after dinner and she was super into to having another threesome. We got excited for it, but decided last minute to schedule something down the line, instead of jumping into it randomly again. This is what led us to talking about the ins and outs of threesomes. By planning in advance and making the threesome more of an “event” it becomes a more fulfilling experience. Even though I’ve had a few over the past few weeks, it’s still fun and exciting because each individual experience is so different.

I know this is more about FFM, but I think the advice can go the other way. Any questions? Happy to answer!

xx

LG

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